| And now, it's over... |
[7.25.07 - 3.27pm] |
So, it's all over and I'm back in Columbus. The last month in Tokyo was pretty crazy, as we all tried to cram in all the stuff we kept planning on doing, and then realized we only had like 3 weeks left to do or never get the opportunity again.
The last weekend was probably the most hectic, since classes ended on Friday andw e had until Monday to get out. So not only was it the end of classes, but also cleaning, checking out procedures, and parties galore on top of that mess. I think in those few days I got a total of 5 hours of sleep over 3-4 nights.
Monday, the day I left was kind of a nightmare too. I accidentally fell asleep, was running behind in the morning, had to mail off a package to myself, finish cleaning, etc., and ended up being a little late for check out, and also my friend I was going to go to the airport with was also running late, so we didn't catch the train we originally intended to. Which was fine, because the next train wasn't too far after.
After getting to the airport I had no time to fool around or anything, as I went straight to get my luggage, and then my friend who had to cancel his cel phone went to do that, and we were supposed to meet up after I got my luggage, but he was taking too long and I had to get out of there. So I went ahead and checked in, went through customs, and just barely made my flight. Everything was very rushed, and we didn't get a chance to say a proper goodbye.
Flight was miserable (as usual) although not having slept, I did manage to get a good amount of sleep. The Washington D.C airport was a complete mess though. The customs line was like a thousand years long, and getting luggage was incredibly unorganized. I overheard some official guy talking who said that the airport wasn't built to accomodate that many people, hence the immense congestion. What a pain.
Got through customs and immigration without a hitch and rechecked my baggage. Although the immigration officer, after I told him I just came back from Japan for a year asked me "are you staying for good?" which confused me. What kind of question is that?!? I was taken aback, perhaps offended, but I'm not exactly sure why.
Anyway, unlike other dopes, I actually planned for a LOT of time in between my connecting flights. Which was good because I left my boarding pass on the plane, and had to stand in line to get a new one printed. Total, I left about 5 hours in between flights, 3 of which were taken by customs/immigration/baggage and the new boarding pass. I don't know what fool thinks they can catch a connecting flight in only a mere HOUR after an international one. Common sense people, please.
So, now I'm back in Columbus, tired, missing Japan but also glad to be home. I think I just miss Tokyo right now because it was like I was so suddenly uprooted from a way of life that I was starting to get used to. It is a relief to be home though, and I'm really happy to be back, and starting to feel Columbus again.
I missed the trees!
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| Where does the time go? |
[6.12.07 - 6.09pm] |
So it's been forever and a day since I last posted. I haven't been particularly busy, I just haven't felt like I had anything interesting to say, and I'm too lazy to write when I'm not motivated to.
Overall, things are just normal, with good days and bad days. Classes are a real pain, because everything is over at OSU, and so my brain has literally shut down. It's becoming increasingly difficult to deal with homework and studying. My brain and body keep saying "it's supposed to be over!". But here I am, with a good 5-6 weeks to go.
Things are extra bizarre because this year's crop of kids going to Qingdao are already in Beijing, which highly disturbs me. It makes me wonder if I was ever there, if just a year ago that was me, and why the heck have I not been home yet? I know why...because I thought doing study abroad sequentially was smart. To my chagrin, I've discovered while highly efficient, it has ended up being a real pain in the ass. Well, not really a pain...but it does make things more difficult to deal with at times. While everyone else is dealing with being homesick after about 9-10 months, for me it's up around 13. It's just crazy.
Things are even weirder now that I've finally bought my plane ticket home. Now it's for real, that this whole thing is coming to an end. And I want it to, but I don't. It's just a lot to process. I'm not one to make a big deal out of anything, so I think going home and getting adjusted to Ohio is going to be a pretty casual affair, but at the same time ending this will be a slightly bigger deal than I'm anticipating.
In other news, stupid crazy Japanese ninja mosquitoes bit my legs 7-8 times at tennis practice a few days ago, and I've had a really bad reaction to them. The bites have swollen up to about the size of a quarter, turned pink, then purple, and have settled on deep red. They still itch a lot, although it is getting better...but it's driving me crazy and it actually hurt my calf muscles to walk or even stretch them. I am never wearing shorts in this country again. Who would have thought American mosquitoes could seem good.
Still craving Chipotle, still wanting to know what to do with the rest of my life, and still trying not to scratch these stupid bites. Yay Japan.
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| So. tired. |
[5.6.07 - 10.57pm] |
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Golden week is over, and I didn't do anything exciting. Seriously.
I have a gigantic presentation tomorrow, and our group ahd meetings during vacation, so I couldn't go anywhere. I probably wouldn't have anyway, because everyone in their mother is on vacation and prices for hotels and flights, etc. skyrocket during this time.
I did go with some friends to a rhythmic gymnastics competition today. That was interesting. It's apparently very popular in Japan, and there was this group of screaming fans who were cheering the competitors on. There was even a conductor to synchronize the cheers, and let me tell you it got annoying after about 2 seconds. All girls, their voices were quite high pitched and were echoing off the auditorium walls, and it was just...really loud and painful. Oy...the competition itself was fun, and I love my artistic sports and I'll love anything that resembles winterguard, but Japanese fans drive me crazy.
Today was rainy, and so I was feeling kind of miserable, and it kills me that everyone back home has a month left of school and I have THREE.
Must get back to work on the presentation now...life will be so much better once this is over!
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| New semester! |
[4.15.07 - 1.33pm] |
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mood |
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 relaxed |
] |
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music |
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Your Precious Love |
] |
Well, school has started again, and so far I like my new schedule. Originally I was going to take a class called Art and Literature, but after one day I knew I couldn't stay in there. The teacher was basically mumbling into this microphone and really didn't make any sense...he threw like 8 handouts at us and kept telling us to "look at the other handout". WHICH ONE??
At any rate, I've changed to a US Foreign Policy course, which I took up on the recommendation of someone else, and despite the fact that politics tend to not be something I understand, the course has a globalization aspect to it that's more familiar to me. I'm also taking a Globalization and Identity course, which so far seems to be right up my alley as well.
And luckily these classes make it so that I can play tennis twice a week instead of once, which I'm SOOO happy about. No classes on Wednesday! I feel really good about this semester (I really can't get used to saying "semester" instead of "quarter"), and am determined to make it a good one. Autumn semester was a struggle in so many ways, but Spring is looking to be so much better, and I am in such a better state of mind. I feel happy and confident, ready and capable to do anything!
I can already feel this study abroad beginning to conclude though, since OSU sent that scheduling window e-mail that comes this time of year. I can schedule classes...in a week or so, and I went to look at the course bulletin and oddly missing is the one class I need to GRADUATE. This sort of sent me in a mini-panic, because this class is normally offered every autumn, but apparently not this year.
But rather than worry about it, I'll just take care of it after I get home. After I get Chipotle on my way from the airport.
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| Sakura Hanami |
[4.1.07 - 8.23am] |
Hanami Day 2
Location: Ueno Koen (Ueno Park)
Today a few friends and I hit up the infamous Ueno Koen, one of the most famous and most popular spots for sakura in Tokyo. Peak bloom was this weekend, and with rain in the forecast for the next few days, Saturday was really crowded, even though it was overcast and really cloudy. It probably would have been anyway, just because it's Tokyo and there's a lot of people here.
Ueno Koen basically has most of the sakura concentrated along one walkway, and underneath the trees many people had reserved spots and were picnicking, drinking, and having a grand time. I'd say the sakura at Ueno were much more in quantity than at Shinjuku Gyoen, but Shinjuku Gyoen is known for having many different types of sakura, whereas Ueno mostly has one type. I think because of that I prefer Shinjuku, over the monotony of Ueno. Plus Ueno is so popular, and crowded...and I totally prefer the underdog.
After a walk through this river of people, there was a small pondish lake, where you could take boats and see the sakura and willow trees around the lake. They weren't really the most comfortable...
After that, we took a trip to Ueno Zoo, which had some animals I've never seen before, so I'm glad I got the chance to see a panda and red pandas. Red pandas are actually a lot bigger than I thought...I thought they'd be raccoon sized, bu tthey were a bit bigger than that. I was pleased to see fennec foxes and polar bears, and there was also a peacock that had opened it's feathers and was either getting territorial or trying to attract a mate. I was amused by the fact that the zoo had a Japanese squirrel exhibit as well. The Japanese seem to be very big on rodents in zoos...but maybe it's more practical since rodent exhibits take less space. But honestly, I don't think anything you can own as a pet should really be in a zoo...like domestic guinea pigs? Come on people...
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| My favorite sakura tree |
[3.28.07 - 7.27am] |
This tree deserves its own post because it was by far my favorite. It's crazy and has several different shades of blossoms all on the same tree. My friend and I were walking on the balcony next to the tree and I figured it was a couple of trees clumped together because the colors were so distinct, but no! Trickery!
I'm guessing they probably did some grafting by putting branches from different colored sakura all onto the same tree when it was young, thus producing this unique result. I'm quite a fan!
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| Day 1 of Hanami |
[3.28.07 - 7.25am] |
Most people might go once a year, but I am not most people. I declare today Day 1 of Sakura no Hanami, because I plan on going a LOT. There's a treasure trove of various parks to check out and although blooming season is short, I hope to hit up a good number of parks and hanami myself to death.
Today was Shinjuku Gyoen, which is very close to where I live (I'm sure I could walk if I didn't get lost so easily). The sakura in the picture is an earlier blooming type which had unfortunately already fallen apart quite a bit. The rest of the park isn't 100% in bloom yet...it's about 60%. I might go back to check the later blooming types, because Shinjuku Gyoen is famous for having lots of different sakura species.
Anyway, a ton of new pictures in my albums, and by the time the next few weeks are over, YOU'LL be sick of seeing sakura too!
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| Yoshino Baigo |
[3.19.07 - 12.00pm] |
HELLO!!!
I'm not dead. In fact, I'm GREAT! Today, for the first time in a long time I finally felt like myself again. After a much needed vacation (with a couple weeks left to go!), I feel rejuvenated. And this is going to sound really stupid, but I feel "ready to study abroad". Again.
So I went to Korea just for a week to visit family, and enjoyed not having to cook for myself and eating a lot. I also thoroughly enjoyed not having jetlag, and also having a TV. Korea's kind of bizarre, and plays a lot of American movies and TV, so every night I was watching old episodes of Dark Angel, Alias, and Ally McBeal. Sweet!
Upon returning to Japan, I went to a place called Yoshino Baigo the very next day to see the plum blossoms, and I absolutely loved it. (see picture). I took about 2 hours worth of train rides to out in the middle of nowhere Ome, and as soon as you get off the station you can see this patch of various shades of pink on one side of the mountain. Ome's a pretty small town, and is famous for the plum blossoms, which are not only in the park, but scattered all over the city. In fact, the park only has a small fraction of the total trees. When I went, it was the Ume no Matsuri, or plum festival, so all sorts of plum related goods were being sold. (Japanese plums are actually not plums, but more closely related to apricots). Anyway, I tried some daifuku with plums...I probably could have done without it, but I figured I should at least try some new things.
I wandered around the park, snapping photos, and just quietly enjoyed the blossoms by myself. It's cheesy, but it gave me a lot of time to relax and just reflect upon things by myself, and I really needed that. I feel very motivated now...thanks to Yoshino Baigo!
As you can see, I've taken to a different way of posting photos, thanks to the suggestions of ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) violetstarshine and leechan, and have a flickr account (my name there is onospin...albinoflamingo was taken, can you imagine??). I've uploaded all of my photos (including the China ones I already posted here) and more Korea and Japan photos. There's a neat feature where I marked generally where the photos came from...and it hit me then all the places I've been in the past few months, and how mentally worn out I was from it.
It sucks not to have a place you can call home, and I think that's what I miss the most. Even if it's "boring" Ohio. I miss just feeling comfortable, not like a foreigner, or a guest, or an exchange student.
Although I have to say, Tokyo is starting to become a second home to me, and I can already tell I'm going to miss it immensely when I go back home. If only Columbus and Tokyo could be like a 15 drive from each other, that would be GREAT.
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| TIRED. Close the frikkin door. |
[2.13.07 - 10.52pm] |
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mood |
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relieved |
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It's been a long time since I've updated...but don't worry, nothing really interesting happened. (well, actually I did get to see my friend Yuki from high school, who I haven't seen since 2004. Had lunch with her and her mom, which was fun. Unfortunately Yuki's superbly busy with graduating this year from the Tokyo University of Science, so even though she's fairly close by, her graduation thesis says we can't hang out until it's over!)
January got really old, really quickly, and as a student who was used to quarters, semesters are literally a living hell. I just wanted classes to be over, but they kept dragging on and on and on...and instead of one week of final exams, the way they do it here at Waseda is have exams scheduled for different days over a span of a couple weeks. So one of my classes finished way early, but another didn't finish until the end, and in between after an exam was over I'd feel like things were going to end, when really there was still another 2 weeks of classes left. So it felt like this start/stop sputtering of just trying to wrap things up.
It's FINALLY over though, for about a week now, and I am just 3000% relieved...and mentally, utterly exhausted. I think the semesters, in addition to me feeling like I'm ready to be done with school was just wearing me down. I love being a student, and I love to learn...but 4+ years of college is a long time. When I graduated high school I didn't really care at all...but I feel like graduating college is truly an accomplishment. I could be a student forever...but periodically, I need closure, to end one chapter and begin another.
So now I have 2 months to hang out with friends, go to Korea, and just relax. I'm looking forward to sleeping whenever I want, and just not having to answer to anyone or anything. It is SUCH a good feeling.
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| Back from Nagoya! |
[12.30.06 - 11.24pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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And it was GREAT! (albeit extremely COLD!! But apparently all of Japan was cold these past few days).
It didn't help that my hotel didn't have heating...I kid you not. I didn't realize this of course, when booking. But that was probably the worst part of the trip.
No wait...the ice rink was cold too (of course). So really, EVERYWHERE I went was cold. I feel like I'm still thawing out.
I watched hours upon hours of skating and enjoyed it immensely. I didn't get to do much else because on the 29th everything pretty much closed down for the New Year's holiday. I had planned to go to Nagoya castle, but, closed.
I did get to do some shopping though, althoguh it was mainly for souveniers for people in Tokyo. I did buy some tangerines (mikan) for myself because it's one of Nagoya's specialties...and anyone who knows me knows I loves me tangerines. I also had the famed misokatsu and it's soooo good. Albeit a bit sweet...I think I like regular tonkatsu better. Anyone who knows me knows I loves me tonkatsu sauce (literally, I drown things in it).
Skating...yeah I don't think anyone here really cares about it, so I won't blab. But while I was there I was really happy? Like I felt I belonged...and I've been thinking about maybe doing journalism as one of my options in grad school...or sports management. I know it sounds crazy (Especially for me) but I love figure skating, gymnastics, tennis...and getting the opportunity to attend competitions for these sports in China and now here in Japan leaves me wanting more, and also feeling like I could really do something, and make something of myself. Doin interviews in multiple languages...maybe take some photography classes and be like a photo taking, interview doing, article writing one man machine.
Sports management would be more geared towards working for the IOC (International Olympic Comittee) or sports governing bodies like the Federation of International Gymnastics or the International Skating Union. I feel like I have a lot to offer in these areas...but it might be too suit and tie for me. Sports management can also include things like organizing events and such...I don't know if I'm good at that? Am I bossy enough? (that was a rhetorical question...I don't want to know the answer!). I'd rather work up close and personal with the athletes themselves though...I'm not sure I'd call myself a people-person in big crowds, but when in smaller groups I feel very comfortable.
And so it seems studying abroad has done the one thing I feared most it would, and that is place doubt in my head about what I should do with my life. I had this plan to just be a high school teacher, and to be happy with it, and now there's change. It's a little frustrating, quite honestly.
Just grrrrrreat...
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| Eek! |
[12.26.06 - 11.38am] |
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mood |
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happy |
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No posting in a month! I guess that's a sign I've really settled into life here.
So what's been going on...well, classes were finally over last friday. We still have more class and finals in January but at least there's a break. I was so used to OSU's 10 week quarters that semesters here are KILLING me. I was burned out long ago, but school just kept going. So. Taxing.
The last week of class in Japanese we went to Asakusa, a temple...but I had already been so it wasn't anything new to me. Although there were a bunch of vendors this time because of New Year's coming up...but I was more interested in buying food, like this sugary thing that I forget what it's called, but it's made from melting sugar and adding baking soda to make it fluff up and dry out into a cookie-ish type thing. Sounds weird, but it's soooo good.
Did my usual tennis club on Friday, and on Saturday went to one of the International Club's Christmas party...saw some friends I hadn't seen in a while, promised to go to meetings next year...(ack!). But that was fun, and there was a gift exchange, and I ended up with a gigantic chocolate bar, which surprisingly is deterring me from eating chocolate because when I go shopping I just think "well, I have that massive chocolate bar at home..." but when I'm at home I just think "I don't want to start eating that...". Keep your enemies closer...
Match Point (the tennis club...or circle rather) is having a match this Thursday and a year end party...and I can't go. I wish I could, but...I'm going to Nagoya! All by myself, got the tickets, reservations and everything. I'm heading down to see the Japanese Figure Skating National championships, so I'm excited about that, excited about taking the bullet train for the first time, and excited to just have a vacation where I can relax and do nothing but sight see and watch skating.
Merry Christmas to meeeee!
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| Happy Thanksgiving! |
[11.23.06 - 8.26pm] |
Not my first Thanksgiving away from home, but it is the first without the family.
Still lots to be thankful for this year though! (except being awake at 5:30 in the morning...stupid insomnia!)
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| Project |
[11.23.06 - 10.41am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Nocturne no.2 - Chopin |
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So I've decided to take on a little project...I think I'm going to do some research on racism and identity in Japan. Lately, it's a topic that has really interested me. Don't worry, nobody's racist against me as far as I know, and especially in Tokyo, but I've read/heard things and am intrigued by it all.
There was an incident in the news where a Japanese figure skater was hit in the head (accidental? I have no idea) with a stuffed animal that was being thrown to the ice for the previous skater. So of course this gets uploaded onto youtube and then there's this grotesque argument between Chinese and Japanese people, with scores of racial slurs, bigotry, and plain old hate. People going back to WWII, the Japanese invasion of Manchuria...then of course somehow Koreans get involved too and it became this 3-way epic mudslinging fight. It was embarassing and shameful to read, and not just from a Korean-American perspective.
It's heartbreaking to be honest...to see people from the 3 countries that I have connections to lambast each other for things that they really weren't involved in personally. There's a fine line between nationalism and cowardice though. Using patriotism as an excuse to hate on people of another nation is in poor taste. As if we don't get that enough in America re: the Middle East, now I have to see the 3 East Asian powers tear each other apart.
There's that saying that hatred breeds hatred, and equally tolerance should breed tolerance, right? But somehow tolerance is losing the battle...probably because it's difficult and requires effort to tolerate whereas hating is as easy as just being narrow minded.
There are so many facets to this though, it's mind boggling. I want to interview people of different backgrounds and see what their experiences are, and thankfully Waseda is pretty good for that. I guess the results are sort of skewed, because chances are I won't get honest answers from people who are racist, that is, if they even talk to me. But I think the people who best identify what racism is are those who are NOT racists themselves. It seems people who are racist are generally in denial about it because of the negative connotation it carries...and they justify it in their heads as being acceptable, therefore it is not racism, because racism would be something unacceptable. Like "oh those people deserve it, therefore it's not racist to hate them".
It's such a vast topic though it makes my head explode. So many different perspectives to look at too...like one of my friends is half-Japanese, but then there's also Japanese people born in the US, or half-Korean/half-Japanese, or Korean people, Chinese people...me, even. How do I feel when people assume I'm Japanese? How does it make me feel that I have to explain that I'm an American born Korean? I'm not even sure.
Or what are white people's perspectives? Do they like/dislike getting treated differently? Being looked at? Do Japanese people honestly place Americans as a step above? Below? Not to mention there's this stereotype that caucasian men in particular typically have it easy in Japan...but is that really true?
SO many questions...so little time. And not enough brain power to organize it all!
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| A good week! |
[11.10.06 - 2.11pm] |
I finally had a full week of school where I felt like I was completely in control. I'm doing well (enough) in my classes, and it feels good to feel like myself again. I even went to the ice rink for the first time since Korea, but this was the first time I skated in my new boots so they're not broken in yet and I can't really do anything. I'm signing up for some classes though, to keep me occupied and maybe meet some people.
Japan's ice rinks are SWARMING with little girls these days...after the Olympics, where a Japanese woman won the first ever figure skating gold medal, popularity has shot through the roof. Originally I intended to go to Nagano at the beginning of December to go to a figure skating competition, but the tickets are already sold out! I guess it works out for the best though, because I would have gotten lost anyway (heck, I get lost in Shinjuku like everytime I go).
No tennis practice today because there was a girls' match...but this weekend is Japan's national gymnastics championships, and I plan on going. It's actually relatively cheap, and it will be good for me to figure out where the arena is because the World Figure Skating Championships will be held there in March. (which I'm determined to not get shut out of...it's been my dream to go!)
In other news...actually I can't remember anything significant...which is good, because it means I finally had a normal week!
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| Yay November! |
[11.3.06 - 3.59pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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Black Eyed Peas |
] |
Ironic because my favorite month in Ohio is usually October...but YAY NOVEMBER!!!
3 days in, and it's already a thousand times better than October! First, no classes on Thursday and Friday because of a national holiday, so 5 day weekend for me to rejuvenate. And today I finally joined a tennis circle, and not only did I meet new people of whom I actually have a chance to meet on a regular basis, but I got to play tennis again! My backhand has gone all wonky which is usually a bad sign because my backhand is my specialty, but not playing for so long, and being nervous around all these new people (not a SINGLE exchange student among them, I was the only one) made me swing too quickly and not push through the ball, so I was hitting with too much topspin and catching the frame which is really unusual for me, and only happens when, surprise, I don't play for a long time or I'm nervous.
/tennis nerd
Anyway, the people in the circle are really friendly, and it's good that I'm forced to use my Japanese against my will, and get over being afraid to speak. Looks like they feel the same way about English though, because they want to practice it, but were scared to use it with me, probably because they didn't want to look bad. I totally understand that sentiment!
Moving on, Waseda's festival is this weekend, so I'm looking forward to that, although I don't know what to expect...
In other news, I went to a general store that I've been frequenting and discovered that they had a 3rd floor where I found...GLOVES!!! I CAN GO SKATING!!!
~HAPPY! (^-^)
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| Dear life...you suck! |
[10.27.06 - 11.16am] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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Oh please just let October be over.
Everytime things seem to be going well, something has to blow up. This week I had some tests, and so I studied like crazy because I was just so behind from the past couple of weeks, and thankfully it paid off and I think I did well on my phonetics test, and my Japanese quiz grades are slowly getting better. But...today...after staying up to prepare for kanji class, I couldn't wake up and missed class (AGAIN), and so now there goes another quiz down the drain.
It's so not like me to even miss class...through 4 years at OSU, the number of times I missed a class is in the single digits (I've only missed a Japanese class TWICE). Now I've already missed 3 classes since being in Japan.
On top of that, I can't go skating because you're required to have gloves, but I haven't been able to find any of the right ones to go skating, and 97% of the tennis clubs hardly practice and just go drinking all the time. I've been trying to look into ballet classes, and I think I found a good place, but it's in Shinjuku...the station where I get lost EVERY TIME.
I'm ganbarimasu-ing like CRAZY, but nothing is going right...not school, social life, nothing. Roughest start I've ever had to a school year.
I know the problem is me, because I always tell myself "nothing changes if you don't change". But another problem is, holding myself responsible for everything is wearing me down too...it just sucks to be blaming myself for all the crap that happens, even though it's all my fault.
I admit it...I'm having a hard time. Much harder than I expected...it wasn't supposed to be like this...it wasn't the way I pictured things. On the other hand, maybe I just overestimated my abilities to cope with studying abroad. Ack! You see how this cycle of self-blame is workin out here??
I feel like I don't even remember how to get out of a slump anymore...I was so settled into the OSU groove after being there, after being in Columbus for so long.
Now that I've thought about it, I guess that's the attitude I need to take with this...I need to prove to myself that I can make it somewhere else besides OSU/Columbus/home. The grades are really secondary since I don't need any of the credits anyway. I think I've been trying to do this all wrong. I don't want to hurt my GPA, but I actually came here having this crazy idea that if I had perfect grades in Japan, and took a full courseload next year with perfect grades, that I could graduate magna cum laude (3.9GPA). Maybe the problem all along has been expecting too much from myself, and expecting perfection. Stupid high, self-set standards!
Ooookay. Anyway, I did go out to lunch today with Kyle, and we looked around Harajuku (although I didn't buy anything because I really need to think such big purchases over...clothes in Tokyo are nice and I want to buy them, but they're expensive, so I can't be an impulse buyer!). It was a good getaway from the stress that has been wearing me down lately.
Still, it's hard to focus on the positives when so much isn't going right. I remember someone (I forget who), saying that Japanese students often get depressed when they go to study in America. I think I totally understand the sentiment now.
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| Good Weekend |
[10.22.06 - 6.55pm] |
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mood |
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grateful |
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music |
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Contrabajissimo |
] |
The weather was really nice today, which was good because I planned on going to a BBQ with a friend (Takashi), and other members of Waseda's Niji no Kai. It took place by a river, some 80 million stations away (Izumi-Tamagawa I think), and despite a minor crisis of my friend actually being later than me, some of his friends came to find me at the station and saved me from my despair, and find the park.
Basically we cooked pre-packaged, pre-marinated yakiniku, various vegetables, finishing with yakisoba...and it was REALLY good (albeit it was a very loong and drawn out process...as is everything else in Japan).
But now I understand maybe a little bit why Japanese people like Korean food...they don't really cook meat! They just buy this pre-packaged nonsense and cook it on the grill, and while the taste is good, it doesn't have that "homemade" kick to it. Of course Koreans have pre-packaged/marinated such items as well...keep in mind I am a terribly spoiled kid when it comes to food. Besides, I'd make kalbi for them...but oh snap I don't know how.
Anyway, it was nice to get out while the weather was nice and meet some of the Niji no Kai people. They all seem really nice, and I'm feeling a little more comfortable socializing. Believe it or not, I am quite shy, and more than anything I really need time, before I feel comfortable calling people friends. So right now things are a little awkward and I feel like I'm out of my element. Not to mention I think Japanese people are less interested in socializing with Koreans than they are Americans. It doesn't make them racist...it's just American culture is what they're interested in. Actually 3 of the girls I met today thought I was Japanese. O_o (why is it Asians never seem to be able to tell what ethnicity I am? I'm always like BAM! Chinese. BAM! Japanese. BAM! Korean)
At any rate, I'm no Mark (haha), but I'm slowly trying. I did meet someone interesting today...because she actually lived in Columbus for a while (imagine that!). Ayumi knew my school district (and I hers, duh!), because she went to elementary school in Dublin (speak of the devil, that's where Mark went to school). She remembers things like Seafood Japan and New Japan (aka Tensuke Market and Hana Gifts, respectively) and I told her about how Restaurant Japan (Akai Hana) and the Crescent Cafe Bakery have also been added. Interestingly enough, she said she remembers that there were a lot of Japanese people in Columbus, and of course they sort of formed their own community and didn't really try to be anything but Japanese. For that reason she said she preferred living in St. Louis, because there weren't any Japanese people, and she could sort of break away from that.
Yay for cultural ambiguity!
Totally off topic, but I had a nightmare this morning that I had for some reason was so stressed out that I flew back to America, and all I remember is feeling depressed and that I had to hurry and catch a flight on Sunday so I would miss as little class as possible. And if you know me, you know I hate long flights more than anything in the world.
No more fried oysters...I think they really messed with my head, because I've been battling a nagging headache all day! I seriously woke up this morning thinking I was still in America, and I was like "when does my flight leave?" and I was relieved when I realized I was in my dorm room. O_o
DRAMA!
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| My first earthquake |
[10.18.06 - 4.43pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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Scorchio |
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I feel like I should draw a picture book about it!
It's funny though because apparently since we've been here there have been quite a few earthquakes apparently...maybe 3 or 4, but I hadn't noticed a single one (not all were big). I'm not entirely sure of what exactly happened this morning, but all I know is that there was waking up, going back to sleep, realizing the room was shaking a little, and going back to sleep. I'm honestly not sure in which order things happened, so I don't know if the earthquake woke me up or if I had already gotten up and was half asleep again.
At any rate, once I realized there was an earthquake going on, I just stayed in bed thinking "how annoying" and went back to sleep.
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| Just BREATHE. |
[10.15.06 - 4.57am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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Allegro giacoso, Harp Concerto op.74 |
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Up and down and around we go...that was my week.
I feel like body's been abroad for so long, it's going back into jetlag...like "hey, you're not supposed to be away from the Eastern time zone this long!".
So on top of a messed up sleep schedule, I've been working pretty hard to do better in class, but I'm still not doing so hot on quizzes. Taking all those months off from practicing Japanese really hurt me...but I'm slowly improving, and getting back into it, so I'm just trying to stay positive.
However, when you're lacking in sleep, and frustrated, you tend to be vulnerable. (yeek!)
I was sitting in class on Thursday, and I couldn't concentrate and stop my brain from thinking. And it was thinking a lot about home. They always say time apart makes the heart grow fonder, and it really is true. I never really considered myself close to my family...but I realized that I miss them. I've never been away from home, from Columbus for this long. I've never spent the autumn anywhere but Columbus practically. Everything is just "new" and I was feeling overwhelmed. I almost started to cry in the middle of class, wondering to myself "is it so wrong to just want to go home?"
When I got back to the dorm, I did start crying. Out of exhaustion, frustration, sadness, and let it all out. I kept thinking to myself I'm supposed to be having the time of my life...and it was then that I realized I wasn't because I was holding myself back. And it was then that I decided it's okay to miss home and have fun in Japan. I decided to take the weekend for myself, and just sleep a lot and just rebuild myself. I feel like a different person now, and much more ready to deal with things. I even survived going to the Shinjuku City Office all by myself to pick up the stupid alien registration card that had been on my mind for the past few weeks (this was of course, after getting lost trying to find the office in Shinjuku the day before though). So one step at a time, all official business is being taken care of, and I feel like a fifty ton weight is off my shoulders.
I always pride myself on being mentally strong, and I freely admit I cried like a weakling. But I guess we have to realize how weak we are to be able to measure our inner strength. Otherwise, how do we even know what strong is?
At any rate, I feel good now, and ready to enjoy being here, hanging out with the friends I've made, and making new ones. I finally feel like I'm ready to be in Japan. (I just wish this hadn't have happened two weeks after school started...now I have to dig myself out of a hole ;_; )
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| You're ready to graduate when... |
[10.12.06 - 3.14am] |
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mood |
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apathetic |
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music |
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something... |
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You realize you're sick of school!
Well, not really sick...but it's getting harder and harder to restart the gears every quarter to study and do homework...it is however, a necessary evil. Especially if I want to do well in grad school!
But, I do have to say that I had my first culture shock experience in Japan. Turns out, their foreign language education system...stinks. Well, not for everyone, but as a whole, it...stinks. For example, take my homework assigned on Tuesday (that of course I procrastinated on!), memorize over 300 vocabulary words!! That's insane!! I'm never going to be able to use all of them in sentences. Even for 2 days, that is a LOT of work...and that's not even getting to the actual lesson, which I am most definitely not going to be able to prepare beyond a casual skim before class.
It's my fault, and I'm not really complaining...because this is the kick in the pants a student like me needs. Vocabulary is one of the hardest things for me, and the grammar parts are actually relatively simple. But there are other students who are suffering, this I know for sure!
I can only imagine how English education works...overload on vocabulary, and don't pay a lot of attention to grammar. And this is the way I've been told it is, not only in Japan, but also in China. I think this method is superbly ineffective...because vocabulary memorized, but unable to be used and put into the correct context, will be vocabulary lost. Anything you don't use, you will lose! So what was the point anyway?
I feel like I know why JSL is the way it is...SO many people complain about "not enough vocab, not enough kanji" etc., but what's the use of memorizing kanji if you're not in a position to be able to use it? It's silly! Students think if they can just read more kanji, they'll understand more Japanese...but that's not the case, and it's definitely not going to help in the long run. There are students (a good majority of them actually) with RIDICULOUSLY bad accents and terrible grammar, but know more kanji and vocabulary than I do. And while I'm totally in pain right now, I'm not really jealous.
Anyway, instead of studying...I went out today with Azusa to the Korean street in Shinjuku to get Korean food...a potato and pork rib stew, that embadrassingly enough, have never had before. Oops! And instead of speaking Korean with the waitress, I just kinda passively let Azusa speak Japanese with them (hey, they spoke Japanese well!). Double oops!
Anyway, it was really good to hang out with Azusa again, and really catch up on a LOT of stuff. We talked for hours! Dang it...hours that could have been spent studying! BUT, she's going to America on October 25th and staying for a few months, so I won't be able to hang out with her for a while. Yes, it's delusional, but I like to convince myself that because she's leaving soon, that justifies my actions. What will my teachers think of me! They all think I'm this wonderful student...and to those teachers that may read this, I SWEAR I still am! Look what Japan has done to me!!!
Just kidding. Even good students are human...and have this magical ability to study all night. I think this whole "completing all my credits before studying abroad" has subconsciously made me a little apathetic...but like I said, starting the semesters are getting harder and harder...a lot of my friends my age have graduated, and I'm a little discouraged by it actually. But then I remember, "Hey, I'm in Japan! And JASSO's paying my rent!" and life is delicious again.
Massive studying ahead, so it's time to clock out...goodnight/morning/day to all!
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